Wishful thinking
Had made many plans for today - go for a short 3-4 km loop at the BG Run, have brunch, hop over to the gym (for my first time in 3 months) and then grab a movie and coffee afterwards.
But all it took was just a slow jog of about 200m for me to realise that I just could not run with my arm in its current condition. It felt like it was in the wrong place and going to fall off. I had to walk the rest of the way. I dread to think that I'm probably to continue like this until at least the end of the year, when the doctor will review me once more and assess if I need operation.
When the rest of the running gang came back from their 12-14 km run, they were glowing with healthy perspiration and talking excitedly about the latest running gear and tips on stretching and injury-prevention. I had nothing to say and I didn't feel like talking. This was followed by a rather unappetising brunch, after which I bade my farewell to my friends and went home. I was in no mood for gym or movie or coffee. I just wanted to sleep and hope that all this would be over when I wake up. But it's wishful thinking on my part.
I look at myself in the mirror, and I don't know why, but I start to a bitter anger rising again.
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Update as of 2115 hrs
Chatted with some friends on MSN. This particular message from one of them stood out from the rest. It's so profound and true. I'll need to think about it some more and see how I can adapt.
"Just because our lives come to a temporary standstill doesn't mean that your friends' have to too."
posted by Renohtaram @ 11:30 am
9 comments
9 Comments:
cheers up, pal ! I guess it's just take time. We will be behind u all the way !
Did anyone tell you that you have a great smile? We miss that!!
Take it easy brother. Believe in yourself...Things get much worse if you lose the confidence in yourself. Muggs was right, you have great smiles and a very friendly guy, we don't wanna miss that!
When I ran past the cemetery today, I saw this old man sitting alone at the side of a grave. He must have felt very lonely after his friends or relatives had went ahead of him.
Later in the afternoon, I went to the full month celebration of my friend's first child. Felt his joy as I recently had the good fortune to be a father too.
Witnessed the joy and sorrow within a short span of time lead me to think about my life. Maybe its time I stop worrying about things I can't change eg. the Middle East conflict and start to cherish what I have, eg. my family and friends.
Wish you a speedy recovery and hope cheer up.
*HUGZZZ*
looks like we gotta resort to tough love..*bish* renoh!! wake up!! look around u!! God loves you and we love you too!! the least you could do is to be nice to urself!
think and stay positive... :) "positive thinking builds positive neural pathways. the more you think optimistically about something, the more apt your brain is to choose that path."
stay in there. I look forward to see you in action.
thanks everyone! i will come back!
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