no lo se

The empty feeling set in on Wednesday morning. The coffee tasted bland, and I could hardly hear the music playing out of my computer speakers. Time crawled me by very slowly and very uneventfully. I decided to eat out for lunch, but changed my mind afterwards, and bought back some food to consume in the office. I wasn't really that hungry. My appetite was somehow just gone. I wasn't feeling that tired, but I didn't feel like doing anything. Perhaps unmotivated would be a better word. Or uninspired? In any case, when the dreary working day ended, I went back home and returned to my reading. I thought I would be reading. But I couldn't go beyond a chapter. My mind kept drifting, but from what to what, I do not know. I couldn't get my mind to focus. And somehow, gradually, sleep overcame me, and then it was Thursday. Today. I had a lunch appointment, which I turned up for. I hardly spoke a word at the meal, though everyone else was laughing, joking, having a rocking good time. But I felt out of sync with them, with the events of the day, with the rest of the world. Or simply disinterested. Odd. After the lunch, I went shopping downtown on my own. But the merchandise looked unappealing, unattractive, uninviting. Sad. I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. After roaming rather aimlessly up and down the streets, I popped into a friend's shop, found a comfortable spot, and tried to sleep there. But I couldn't. There was a certain vacuousness about it all. There appears to be some void that had to be filled, but I don't know where or what to fill it with. There is a gaping restlessness from which I cannot seem to find respite.

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Update as of 2300 hrs

I received a phone call this evening. And was asked questions about running. Or more accurately, an interview request regarding the Sundown Marathon. And suddenly, by just being engaged in a discussion about running, carbo-loading, training, etc., I find that there's a direction again. And things just seem to be picking up. I have no doubt that I have a serious addiction to running, and it's just great :D. My sight is now set on a few key events ahead: VGO Mout Faber Run (15 Jun) (registered), MacRitchie Reservoir Trail Run (29 Jun) (registered), Ipoh International Marathon (8 Jul) (tbc), Adidas King of the Road (10 Aug) (tbc), Army Half Marathon (24 Aug) (registered) and Macao Galaxy Marathon (7 Dec) (tbc).