no lo se

The empty feeling set in on Wednesday morning. The coffee tasted bland, and I could hardly hear the music playing out of my computer speakers. Time crawled me by very slowly and very uneventfully. I decided to eat out for lunch, but changed my mind afterwards, and bought back some food to consume in the office. I wasn't really that hungry. My appetite was somehow just gone. I wasn't feeling that tired, but I didn't feel like doing anything. Perhaps unmotivated would be a better word. Or uninspired? In any case, when the dreary working day ended, I went back home and returned to my reading. I thought I would be reading. But I couldn't go beyond a chapter. My mind kept drifting, but from what to what, I do not know. I couldn't get my mind to focus. And somehow, gradually, sleep overcame me, and then it was Thursday. Today. I had a lunch appointment, which I turned up for. I hardly spoke a word at the meal, though everyone else was laughing, joking, having a rocking good time. But I felt out of sync with them, with the events of the day, with the rest of the world. Or simply disinterested. Odd. After the lunch, I went shopping downtown on my own. But the merchandise looked unappealing, unattractive, uninviting. Sad. I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. After roaming rather aimlessly up and down the streets, I popped into a friend's shop, found a comfortable spot, and tried to sleep there. But I couldn't. There was a certain vacuousness about it all. There appears to be some void that had to be filled, but I don't know where or what to fill it with. There is a gaping restlessness from which I cannot seem to find respite.

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Update as of 2300 hrs

I received a phone call this evening. And was asked questions about running. Or more accurately, an interview request regarding the Sundown Marathon. And suddenly, by just being engaged in a discussion about running, carbo-loading, training, etc., I find that there's a direction again. And things just seem to be picking up. I have no doubt that I have a serious addiction to running, and it's just great :D. My sight is now set on a few key events ahead: VGO Mout Faber Run (15 Jun) (registered), MacRitchie Reservoir Trail Run (29 Jun) (registered), Ipoh International Marathon (8 Jul) (tbc), Adidas King of the Road (10 Aug) (tbc), Army Half Marathon (24 Aug) (registered) and Macao Galaxy Marathon (7 Dec) (tbc).

Ramblings

it was a wet and cold morning so i stayed in bed under the blanket until the morning was half over and then i got out of bed and hung around in the house for a bit and then went out to meet my fellow one eyed patch teammates at the mccafe at lido and we chatted for a bit about the preparations for camp rainbow and the cheers and the banner and the things to do and the items to buy and then when the briefing was over we split and i headed for emmanuel physiotherapy at the arcade to attend a rather informative session on running injuries and the laws of training including two ecclesiastical secrets but i cannot share them here otherwise philip will come after me and then i had burger king fries with some of the sgrunners and we discussed big and exciting plans and golly are there great things in store and i cannot hide my grin but there are still huge logistics problems that remain and we would need a lot of creativity and a deep pocket to surmount them i think but given our comaraderie and good dosage of luck we should pull through just fine and when i got home i decided to register for the vgo mount faber run in june and that is going to be really a challenge because i have not run up mount faber in quite a while and it is one climb which really takes my breath away and then i heard the news about liao who passed away in hospital and that made me sad because i just had lunch with him not too long ago

MR 20 km Progressive Run

Went for the MR 20 km Progressive Run today but didn't finish the full route. Went for a short cut instead, covering 18 km in a relaxed 2 hr 30 min. Weather was extremely humid at the start, but the sun was out, so once I was out of the jungle, I grabbed the opportunity for a quick and even upper body tan. :)

Bumped into the DSTA guys, gals and kids (who were on an adventure hike) in the middle of the trail on the way back the gathering point. What a pleasant surprise! I haven't seen them for more than a year! This reminded of what happened yesterday after I had gone for a fitting for my suit, when I bumped in Hosea who coincidentally happened to be in the same shopping complex. I haven't seen him in a while as well, and it was good to catch up.

Lunch today was spent in the company of fellow runners in Adam Road Food Centre. Topics for lunch touched on the latest running gear - SKINS, Nike+ sportsband, etc. With all this talk on serious running investments, suddenly, it seemed as if everyone was considering to run as a full-time profession :) Ah well. But I guess we are rather hardcore running enthusiasts! :)

I was totally drained of energy by the time I got home. I had a bit of lunch, slept the afternoon away, and still had a bad throat when I woke up. Terrible.